Growing up, the speed limit on the interstate was 55 miles per hour. It struck me that as I approach 55, I do not see it as a limit. In fact, I am freer than I have ever been.
As a middle child, I have always been a people pleaser. I think my parents definitely appreciated that as I was growing up, but as I continued to mature I learned that being a people pleaser in my marriage can mask resentment and other strong feelings. So my husband and I have worked hard to have more transparency with each other and to be a team, and not just say things we think the other wants to hear.
Being a people pleaser with kids can be asking for trouble when they’re little. But watching them grow and mature and realizing how much they were watching me helped me better understand how important it is to stand up for what is right, even if it’s a little uncomfortable at the time. So, in a way, my kids taught me how not to be a people pleaser, as I became an effective advocate for both myself and others. Thanks, kids!
Being a people pleaser at work generally engenders positive relationships with coworkers, but it’s also important to set boundaries. You can be pleasant to others but still say no. This is something I continue to work on.
Looking back as I anticipate exceeding the speed limit helps me to realize how far I’ve come, and how much more I have yet to do. Because now I realize, where I am going, there is no speed limit.
Master of None 